The Coconutcracker
by Cydra
Summary: On Chrismas Eve, Angelilo receives a special nutcracker from her godfather Jumbameyer. But the evil Gerbil King is out to destroy both her and the Coconutcracker before they could break the spell that it's under. Parody of The Nutcracker.
1. Christmas Eve

**The Coconutcracker**

**Chapter 1: Christmas Eve**

Christmas is a special time of the year. It is a time where families come together to exchange gifts and to be glad to have one another. But Christmas is no mere holiday on a calendar. You see, Christmastime has its own unique type of magic. Let this story be a good example to you.

Our story begins at a large house in the countryside. Snow has piled up around it, but its coldness did not penetrate its strong stone walls. The inside was much warmer than the outside and was decorated all over with decorations. This was because it was Christmas Eve and they were going to be throwing a grand Christmas party. The grownups were all waiting for the guests to begin so the party might start. But none were more anxious that the children.

Angelilo finished placing the last of the holly on the side tables. "Oh I can't wait until we get to open the presents," she said, "I really hope I get ballet shoes." Angelilo was only 14 years old, but she had dreams of becoming a famous ballet dancer someday. She practiced often, but it was hard to do without any proper shoes. Angelilo tried a few steps of ballet, imagining an orchestra playing as her red dress fluttered around her.

"Are you trying to dance again?" said a voice. Angelilo looked to see her best friend, Victoria. Victoria was staying with her family while her parents were busy in the city. Victoria was a good friend, but she mostly thought of gears and pulleys than music and dance. "Well if I'm going to be a dancer, I have to practice," said Angelilo. "Yeah, but it'd help if you didn't stagger around like a rhino with too many whacks to the head," said Victoria. "You'll see, when I get proper ballet shoes, I'll be the belle at every ball." "Uh-huh, yeah, sure, I hope I get more tin soldiers," said Victoria as she brought a bowl of punch over to the refreshment table. "What is it with you and tin soldiers?" asked Angelilo. "I don't have quite enough to reenact the Battle of Waterloo," said Victoria, "Battle mechanics can be so interesting." Angelilo shook her head. She'll never understand that part of Victoria.

Just then the front door opened. Through it stepped a large man wearing a traveling suit and a top hat, an eye patch covered one of his four eyes. "Uncle Jumbameyer!" cried Angelilo as she ran to hug him. He was really her godfather, but it was simpler to just call him 'uncle'. "Ah, Angelilo, you are getting bigger in front of mine own eyes," said Jumbameyer, "Victoria, why are you here and not at your own home preparing tasty nuts over flames?" "My parents have some business in the city," said Victoria, "so I'm staying here for the holidays." "Ah yes, I had forgotten that. It is good thing I remembered to bring your present with me."

"Can we have our presents now, Uncle Jumbameyer?" asked Angelilo excitedly. "Ah, ah, ah, is not Christmas yet, will have to wait for tomorrow." "Please?" begged Angelilo, giving him a look that only the heartless could say no to. "Well…" Jumbameyer glanced at the Christmas tree and saw the several presents under it. "I suppose it will do no harm if my presents come first," he said. He put down the sack he was carrying and pulled out two boxes. "Here, be quick with the removal of paper and ribbons before other guests arrive."

Victoria quickly unwrapped her present and opened the box. Inside was a castle the size of a small wedding cake. It was completely mechanized with clockwork figures. "Cool," said Victoria, "Thanks Mr. Jumbameyer." Jumbameyer twisted the turrets on the spires, winding up the clockwork figures and starting them in motion. "That should keep it wound up for 24 hours," said Jumbameyer, "Be mindful that figures are not meant to be removed from tracks."

Then Angelilo opened her present. Inside the box was a small wooden doll that looked like an odd blue creature wearing a soldier's uniform. "What is this?" asked Angelilo. "That's a nutcracker," said Victoria, "you know, for cracking nuts." "Ah, but is different from regular nutcrackers," said Jumbameyer, "This one is designed to crack open hardest of nut shells, even coconut husks." "So it's a coconutcracker," said Angelilo. "I suppose it could be called that, yes."

Angelilo looked at the coconutcracker. In spite of its odd look, it was quite charming. A small lever in the back opened its mouth, showing the sharp teeth for cracking open coconuts. "Why does he look that way?" asked Angelilo. "Ah, that is interesting story," said Jumbameyer. He checked his pocket watch and said, "Since there is time before festivities, I will tell story about coconutcracker's appearance." Jumbameyer sat down in a wingback chair as Angelilo and Victoria waited for him to tell the story.

* * *

Well, there's the first chapter of this year's Christmas parody. Just so you know, I'm not trying to parody straight off of Barbie's version of The Nutcracker, nor The Nutcracker Prince. Rather, this parody's going to be taking a slightly more unique spin on the classic tale, which may borrow some ideas from the aforementioned films. This is also Angelilo's first appearance in a parody, which should be worth noting. The update schedule of this story's going to be somewhat erratic, but it'll probably smooth out after I go see The Nutcracker ballet on Sunday. So please remember to review.


	2. The Coconutcracker's Tale

**The Coconutcracker**

**Chapter 2: The Coconutcracker's Tale**

'There is a land known as the Land of Sweets. It is called that because every candy and dessert you could imagine was made there. And ruling over the Land of Sweets, from his Gingerbread Castle, was the great Prince Kenneth, or Kenny to his faithful servants. Prince Kenny was a wise and just ruler and maintained the land well. However, he had one weakness. Prince Kenny was in love with a princess in a neighboring kingdom, one Princess Myrtle. He sent several sweets and goodies over to her, but was too shy to ever actually meet her person to person.

'But all of this ferrying of gifts between the two kingdoms did not go unnoticed. In order for the cargo to reach Princess Myrtle's kingdom, it had to pass through the territory of the Gerbils. Now these gerbils were a pretty nasty bunch, but their leader was nastiest of all. He had an insatiable greed for power and a slight delusion that he more resembled a hamster than a gerbil. He soon became envious of the Land of Sweets for the near-infinite amounts of tasty food. It didn't help that Prince Kenny's gifts for Princess Myrtle kept passing through. The Gerbil King thought Prince Kenny was also doing it to rub it in his face and thought of a plan to take control of the Land of Sweets.

'Now the main reason Prink Kenny was in love with Princess Myrtle was because she was the most beautiful maiden in all the land. Everyone knew she was lovely, but none more than herself. Prince Kenny knew only her face and didn't know of how massively egotistical and self-absorbed she was. But the Gerbil King did, being somewhat of the same type himself. So he paid a visit to Princess Myrtle and gave her the idea of having her unknown admirer come to her. After all, although Prince Kenny sent several kinds of gifts, he never sent a picture of himself. Princess Myrtle was curious as to who gave so many presents and had a messenger go to Prince Kenny with an invitation to her palace.

'Prince Kenny accepted the invitation at once and quickly prepared a traveling party for them to journey to Princess Myrtle's palace. The company reached the palace without incident and was brought into the greeting room. However, the instant Princess Myrtle saw Prince Kenny, she said, "Ugh! That is the ugliest person I have ever seen." Now Prince Kenny wasn't particularly ugly to his own people, but a bit unusual-looking to others. Princess Myrtle couldn't see past the surface of that and had both he and his servants thrown out of the palace, never wanting to have anything to do with Prince Kenny again.

'Of course, being rejected so utterly like that broke Prince Kenny's heart and he barely had the will to return to his own kingdom. None of the servants could do anything to help him out of his depression, not even having the hilarious court jester perform 24 hours everyday. This is exactly what the Gerbil King had planned. With the prince is such a saddened state, his kingdom was vulnerable to invasion. So the Gerbil King rallied his army and attacked the Land of Sweets. They charged until they reached the Gingerbread Castle.

'The Gerbil King himself stormed the throne room, just as the court jester was doing his famous 'slip-a-lot' sketch. "I've heard so much about your aching heart," said the Gerbil King mockingly, "Well, I'll harden your heart so it won't ever crack again." You see, the Gerbil King also knew magic and was preparing to cast a spell on Prince Kenny to turn his heart to stone, literally. However the court jester was having trouble stopping his slipping and slid right into the Gerbil King as he was casting the spell. This caused the Gerbil King to fly through the air and landed hard on his tail, causing it to be bent in a rather painful way. The jester's collision also caused the spell to miss its target, hitting the prince in the jaw instead of his heart. This caused him to be turned into a wooden nutcracker. The Gerbil King, furious with both his spell being messed up and his tail being bent, turned the jester into a jack-in-the-box so he could only bounce in place from now on. Afterwards, he banished the nutcracker from the kingdom and took the throne for himself.'

"That was a terrible ending," said Victoria as Jumbameyer finished. "Ah, but who said it was ending of tale?" said Jumbameyer. "Can you tell us the rest?" asked Angelilo. "I cannot." "Why not?" "Because story is not finished yet. You'll have to wait for story to end before hearing ending." "How can it not have ended yet?" demanded Victoria, "It's just a fairytale." Jumbameyer smiled and said, "It may be fairytale, but not fantasy."

Victoria ignored what Jumbameyer said and asked Angelilo, "Can we use your coconutcracker?" "Sure," said Angelilo. She got a walnut from a bowl on the refreshment table and put into the coconutcracker's mouth. When she pulled the lever, the coconutcracker's jaws made quick work of the hard shell. "Let me try," said Victoria as she reached for a nut. But she accidentally grabbed one of her leftover bolts instead. She placed the bolt in the coconutcracker's mouth and squeezed hard on the handle. There was a snap, but it didn't not from the 'nut'. "Oh no," said Angelilo as he took the coconutcracker in her arms. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know it wasn't a real nut." Jumbameyer looked down at the coconutcracker and saw that some of the teeth had broken off. "It is simple fixing. I will repair it after dinner, but no more cracking of nuts tonight. You had better take good care of him." Angelilo hugged the coconutcracker and said, "Don't worry, I will."

* * *

There's another chapter. Again, I took a couple of liberties with the story, but I think it's going well so far. For those of you who are familiar with the story, you'll know the action will be coming soon. However, I'm not positive as to when it's actually going to be updated. But I think I should be able to update again next week. Until then, please review.


	3. The Gerbil King Strikes

**The Coconutcracker**

**Chapter 3: The Gerbil King Strikes**

The party had gone on without great incident. The guests arrived and there was much dancing. Angelilo didn't have a partner to dance with, so she decided to sit with the Coconutcracker. "I don't see why you're so attached to that thing," said Victoria as she was getting herself a drink of punch, "It's just a soldier and not a very functional one at that. He can't even move his arms or legs."

"It doesn't matter if he can or not, I think he's cute," said Angelilo.

Victoria shrugged and said, "You can be pretty odd sometimes, you know that?" She then walked back to the dining room.

Angelilo hugged the Coconutcracker and said, "You don't have to listen to her. I'd think you'd make a fine soldier. And I'd bet you'd beat that Gerbil King if you had the chance."

They found her in the position later. She had fallen asleep with the Coconutcracker in her arms. "Let her sleep there," said Jumbameyer, "She has had busy day and could do with rest. Besides, would be rude to interrupt dream." So they put a blanket over her and let her sleep on the couch. Eventually all the guests left and everyone went upstairs to bed.

Time crept by until it was near the midnight hour. Still Angelilo slept with the Coconutcracker in her arms. His small wooden eyes stared blankly forward. They just happened to be staring at the clockwork castle, which was still ticking away. Among the various people that went around the castle, there was a clock in the tallest tower. The clock had been set to the real time and the hands were getting closer to the top.

Eventually the hour and minute hands moved onto the 12. The castle chimed twelve times to mark midnight. However, that wasn't the only thing it did. The drawbridge of the castle creaked open, revealing a bright light. Out from that light marched several gerbils. These were no ordinary gerbils, they had red fur and had armor and weapons. They might have looked cute if they didn't have such a vicious look in their eyes.

Then an even large gerbil came out. He had white fur, a red cape, and a crown on his head. He held a sizeable scepter in his hand that had a strange glow about it. Unlike the other gerbils, he didn't look really cute; his red scowling eyes and the bent in the middle of his tail made him look pretty nasty.

The light emitted from the castle woke Angelilo up. She opened her eyes and looked in front of her. "Is it morning already?" she asked.

"In a way, yes," said the large gerbil, "It is the dawn of my reign in this land."

Angelilo looked at the gerbil and said, "I know you, you're the Gerbil King!"

"Ah, my glorious reputation precedes me," said the Gerbil King. "Now, you large, pink haired person, you will bow to me."

"I'll never bow to a coward or an imposter," said Angelilo.

"Neither will I," said a voice. Angelilo looked down and saw that the Coconutcracker was stirring. He was still made of wood, but otherwise, he was definitely alive. His body was now moving in more lifelike ways, which he definitely couldn't do before.

"You again!" said the Gerbil King. "I knew I should have disposed of you more properly, like toxic waste. No matter, it will be child's play to dispose of you now. Soldiers! Destroy that nutcracker! And scare that defiant giant away."

The gerbil soldiers hopped off the table the clockwork castle was on and headed towards the couch that Angelilo was on. "Stand back," said the Coconutcracker, "I'll deal with these ruffians." He jumped out of Angelilo's arms, drawing his sword as he went. The gerbils went straight for him, their spears and swords pointing at him. However, the Coconutcracker was more disciplined and easily deflected their weapons. He disarmed several and knocked them unconscious. However, there were many gerbils and the Coconutcracker couldn't keep them all at bay.

Angelilo would have helped the Coconutcracker, but she had other things to worry about. Several gerbil soldiers were trying to get to her. She doubted they could do much to someone her size, but all the same, she didn't want them anywhere near her. She swatted and kicked many away, but they kept coming towards her.

Then a cackling caught her ears. She turned and saw the Gerbil King was enjoying the spectacle. This made Angelilo angry. Not only did this bully take away the Coconutcracker's throne and transfigured him, he thought it was alright to attack innocent girls. She took off her slipper and threw it at the Gerbil King. It hit him square in the forehead, fairly knocking him out. The gerbil soldiers quickly noticed their fallen monarch and rushed back to him. They picked him, and the other unconscious gerbils, and carried them back through the castle's portal.

The Coconutcracker turned and bowed respectively to Angelilo. "Thank you very much, you have saved my life."

"You're welcome," said Angelilo, "Are you really the Prince of the Land of Sweets."

The Coconutcracker looked ashamed, "I was, before I lost it. I don't think someone who can be fooled like that deserves to rule."

"It wasn't your fault," said Angelilo, "The Gerbil King took advantage of you and Princess Myrtle wasn't right for you at all. You deserve that throne that throne more than anyone."

"And now he must reclaim it," said a voice. The two of them looked up and saw a bright blue light floating in front of them. The light formed into a woman dressed in white fur with wings shaped like a snowflake. "I am the Snow Queen," she said, "I have watched the Gerbil King mistreat the people of the Land of Sweets and now he plans to subject other lands to his rule. He must be stopped before he expands his domain any further."

"How can we possibly defeat him?" asked Angelilo.

"There is a special nut that grows in a distant corner of the Land of Sweets. The magical Krakatooth Nut contains a magic which will work against that of the Gerbil King. If you can get it, then you will be able to bring an end to his tyranny."

"One problem," said Angelilo, "How are we supposed to get to the Land of Sweets?"

"Through the castle, of course," said the Snow Queen, "The Prince will be able to fit through fine, but I think you'll need some help." She waved her arms and a bright bubble appeared around Angelilo and the Coconutcracker. The bubble shrank, along with its occupants. "I'm afraid I'm unable to send you directly to the Krakatooth Nut, but I can send you to those than can help you get there." When the bubble was small enough, it floated through the castle's portal and disappeared.

* * *

There's another chapter at last. Sorry this is taking so long. Exams are coming up and they demand a lot attention. I hope to update again this weekend, but I'll likely be studying. However, after Friday, I'll be all free. Thankfully, I think this story'll be a lot shorter than the others and it should be done by Christmas. Until then, please review.


	4. The Loyal Servants

**The Coconutcracker**

**Chapter 4: The Loyal Servants**

The bubble carried the two of them through a long tunnel of light. Eventually, the bubble carried them to the end and they were floating high over the Land of Sweets. It was truly a breathtaking sight. There were certain parts of the land where candy grew on plants. This gave it a healthy export income. "You're pretty lucky to rule over this place," said Angelilo. The Coconutcracker looked saddened by this. "Oh, sorry."

"That's okay," said the Coconutcracker, "I guess I should have appreciated what I had."

"We'll get it back for you," said Angelilo, "don't worry."

The bubble carried them over a forest that had several scented trees, from pine to lemon to cinnamon. "Smells like a bunch of air fresheners," said Angelilo.

"That's why it's called Aroma Woods," said the Coconutcracker.

Suddenly a woodpecker flew up to them and perched on the top of the bubble. Evidentially, it was curious as to whether the bubble was made of wood and therefore contained something to eat. It pecked at it, which caused it to pop. Fortunately, they were only a few feet above the tops of the trees so they were able to grab some branches before they fell to the ground. However, the woodpecker alighted on the Coconutcracker and started pecking at his head. "I always hated woodpeckers," he said as he batted the bird away.

Fortunately enough, where they were was only a short distance away from where they were supposed to go. As soon as they climbed down from the tree branches, they walked over to a nearby clearing where several people had evidentially set up camp. "Who could live here?" asked Angelilo.

"Aroma Woods is the perfect place to hide," said the Coconutcracker, "There are plenty of hiding places and no one can pick up your scent. This must be the camp of some people who refused to have the Gerbil King as their monarch."

"That is correct, your majesty," said a voice and several people came out of the tents. They had quite strange clothing on, as if they used to be in a royal court, which they were. Angelilo could see a round yellow person with a chef's outfit, a bird dressed like a medieval maiden, a lizard in a suit of armor, and a metallic being with several limbs, one eye, a fancy coat with epilates, and was a box with a crank handle on one side.

"Allow me to introduce my former servants," said the Coconutcracker, "This is Reuben the Royal Cook, Contrinus the Lady-in-Waiting, Draco the Captain of the Guards, Chip the Royal Chamberlain, and that's Morph the Court Jester."

"You need not say former," said Contrinus, "We are still loyal to you, enchanted though you may be."

"Speaking of which, how's Morph doing?" asked the Coconutcracker.

"His personality has not changed with his form," said Chip as he cranked the handle, "though 'Pop Goes the Weasel' is no longer one of his favorite songs." After a couple of cranks, the box popped open and a funny white head with four eyes and a jester's cap popped out on top of a spring.

"Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy," said the Morph-in-the-box. Then he noticed the Coconutcracker and said, "Huzzah, our prince has returned to overthrow the Gerbil King. But who's that?"

"This is my friend who helped me fight back the Gerbil King's forces when he invaded her world," said the Coconutcracker, "She came to help find something that will stop the Gerbil King once and for all."

"And what do you have find?" asked Reuben.

"The Krakatooth Nut," said Angelilo.

The servants gasped. "The Krakatooth Nut?" said Draco, "No one's been able to pick one for many years. The tree that grows them is in the deepest part of Aroma Woods. It's the hardest thing to find in all the land."

"But not impossible," said Chip, "I have read every book in the royal library and have read a book regarding the rarest delicacies found in the Land of Sweets. I've memorized the way to the Krakatooth Nut Tree so it we could possibly find it." He noticed Morph's head moving up and down. "I see you agree with me, Morph."

"I'm not nodding. There's a breeze blowing," said Morph.

"Then I say that we shall quest for the Krakatooth Nut so we may overthrow the Gerbil King and break his enchantments," said Draco, drawing his sword. He hacked a bush apart and said, "Onwards then, into the foliage!"

"Er, the Krakatooth Nut Tree is that way," said Chip pointing.

"Right," said Draco and started clearing a path in the right direction

"Reuben and I will stay here," said Contrinus, "We'll only get in your way. While you're gone, we can work out how to get into the Gingerbread Castle when you get back."

So Angelilo, the Coconutcracker, Draco, Chip, and Morph started off on their journey into the deep part of Aroma Woods in search of the tree that grew the Krakatooth Nut.

* * *

There's another chapter. Sorry it took me so long to update. Exams took a lot of concentration and I had a few more stories to update. The next chapter update should be in the next day or two. So until then, please review.


	5. The Krakatooth Nut Tree

**The Coconutcracker**

**Chapter 5: The Krakatooth Nut Tree**

Onwards into the deepest region of Aroma Woods went our intrepid troop. Undaunted were they in the quest to retrieve that valuable fruit that contains the essence of their victory. Neither foul beast nor loathsome vegetation shall prove effective barricades against their- "Oh will you can it?" yelled Chip at the narrator, "You're putting me off my stride."

Er, right, sorry, the little Shakespeare in me got out again. Their route to the Krakatooth Nut Tree was actually not that difficult. Apparently the most difficult part about finding it was the depth at which it was hidden in the forest. But with Chip's navigation skills, that wasn't a problem at all.

"You got us lost, didn't you?" said Draco.

"I did not, I'm just a little uncertain about this part," said Chip, "I just need to double-check which way's north and we'll be able to go further."

"Why are unsure about this spot?" asked Angelilo.

"Oh, it's just that this has been marked as 'the odd part' of Aroma Woods. Don't ask me what that means, I have no idea."

Eventually the group came upon a clearing. In the middle of that clearing were two dancing figures. One was evidentially a prince, judging from the crown and cape he was wearing. The other was wearing a ballerina outfit with swan feathers decorating it. Our heroes watched the two dancers for a while before Angelilo said, "What are you doing?"

The dancers paused and the prince said, "I am Prince Siegfried and I have my true love, the beautiful Odette who is the spell of the evil Von Rothbart."

"Uh, I think you're in the wrong story," said the Coconutcracker.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Yeah, you're looking for Swan Lake. You just go that way, pass the springing toadstools, right of the cracking vines, over the bridge of buttercups, and head straight as the wolf runs. You can't miss it."

The two dancers thanked the Coconutcracker for his directions and left. "Like I said, odd part of the woods," said Chip and he lead the group forward.

Nothing more of consequence happened, except for when they were passing a large pond. Morph happened to be looking across it and saw someone he knew across. "Hey, that's Prince Philip! You know, King Hubert's son."  
"Oh yeah," said Draco, "Their kingdom's not too far from ours. What's he doing with that blonde girl?"

"If I didn't know better, I'd say that would be the Princess Aurora he was betrothed to," said Chip.

"You sure?" asked the Coconutcracker.

"Well, she matches Flora's gift of beauty, 'golden sunshine in her hair, lips that shame the red, red rose', it could be her. From what I've heard, she's been living afar to escape Maleficent's curse."

"You think we should say hi?" asked Angelilo.

"No, no, that's not our story, let's go on."

As they walked away, Morph hummed to himself, "I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream."

"Where'd you get that tune?" asked the Coconutcracker.

"I have no idea," shrugged the Morph-in-the-box.

Soon afterwards, they finally reached the Krakatooth Nut Tree. The tree itself looked a lot like a very old walnut tree. However, the nuts that grew on it resemble black marbles. "Those are Krakatooth Nuts?" said Angelilo.

"It's not the outside that's important, it's the inside," said Morph.

"Just find that ripest nut and we will be able to use it defeat the Gerbil King," said the Coconutcracker.

Draco quickly found a nice ripe one and plucked it. "I wonder why they call this the Krakatooth Nut?" he wondered as he but it in his mouth.

"Uh, I wouldn't do that…" said Chip.

Draco ignored him and bit down on the nut. The nut was a lot harder than it look as Draco's sharp fangs didn't make a single dent on it. Frustrated, Draco bit down hard before they heard a snapping sound. Draco's eyes watered in pain before howled in agony and spat out the nut, along with some of his teeth. Fortunately, Draco's teeth soon grew back, but the nut hadn't been harmed at all.

"I tried to warn you," said Chip, "The Krakatooth Nut's the hardest nut in the world. It's so hard that even less nuts have been cracked than those that are plucked at all. However its flavor can be extracted through the shell and is quite tasty in dishes, but some say the best comes from a nut that's been cracked open. Apparently, it's sweet, unrefined magic is in practicality the opposite of the Gerbil King's bitter and concentrated magic."

"Fortunately, we've got the strongest nutcracker in the world right here," said Angelilo, patting the Coconutcracker on the head.

"Yes, but I think the nut has to be cracked open in the presence of the Gerbil King, and that won't be easy," said the Coconutcracker.

"I'm sure you can do it," said Angelilo, "I never doubted you could before."

* * *

There's another chapter. In case you didn't already know the brief references to Swan Lake and Sleeping Beauty are based on Tchaikovsky's other two most famous ballets. The next chapter should be up tomorrow and I think it might be the last one.


	6. The Gingerbread Castle

**The Coconutcracker**

**Chapter 6: The Gingerbread Castle**

It didn't long at all for our heroes to return to the campsite. "You made it back," said Contrinus, "Did you get the Krakatooth Nut?"

"We sure did," said Draco as he held up the nut, "Did you figure out a way into the Gingerbread Castle?"

"Yep," said Reuben, "Just through the castle kitchen and we can sneak our way to the throne room."

"Excellent," said Chip, "Let me just double check what you've done."

As Chip was looking over the plans, Angelilo noticed the Coconutcracker looking nervous. "Is there something wrong?" she asked.

"What if I can't break the nut?" said the Coconutcracker, "What if I fail again?"

"You won't fail. You just need to believe in yourself. I do."

The Coconutcracker smiled at Angelilo and said, "You're right, we can beat the Gerbil King and nothing's going to stop us."

Very soon afterwards, the plans have been prepared and the team headed out of Aroma Woods. As it turned out, the Gingerbread Castle bordered right next to Aroma Woods and they did have to travel so far. When Angelilo saw it, she gasped. It was an entire castle made out of gingerbread, held together with icing and had several different kinds of candies for decoration. "It looks good enough to eat," she said.

"It is," said Morph as he took a bite out of the wall. The hole he made healed up instantly. "Good thing it can do that. Otherwise, the birds would gobble up this place."

They went around the back and found the entrance to the castle's kitchen. Reuben pulled out his key and unlocked the door. The kitchen was empty at the moment, but Reuben wasn't wholey pleased. "Look at the mess they made! How a chef can make anything with all this rubbish is beyond me!"

"They're rodents, what do you expect?" said Draco.

The group quietly exited the kitchen and started sneaking through the hallways. They had to hide every time a gerbil soldier marched by, but they managed to get through most of the castle undetected. Suddenly there was a cry of, "Halt! Who goes there!"

The group turned and saw a giant dressed in a general's uniform, weilding a tall halberd. "Oh my," said Contrinus, "It's General Gantu, the leader of the Army of the Land of Sweets."

"Who dares intrude upon the domain of the Gerbil King?" demanded General Gantu.

The Coconutcracker walked forward and said, "Gantu, it's us, don't you recognize me?"

"Oh, hello Your Majesty," said Gantu, sounding dejected.

"Why are you working for the Gerbil King?" demanded the Coconutcracker.

"Well, being General's great and all, but it's pointless when there's no one to have war with. The Gerbil King kept me so I could lead the Armies when he sets out to conquer the rest of the world."

"I can't believe you would turn traitor on us," said the Coconutcracker.

"It's nothing personal," said General Gantu, "Just like my orders to destroy anyone who intrudes into the Gingerbread Castle. Sorry." He lifted the halberd high over his head.

"I'm not going to fight you," said the Coconutcracker as he turned his back. The halberd in Gantu's hand began to quiver. "No matter what happens, I'll always consider you my friend."

With a cry of rage, Gantu swung the halberd down. The group winced when they heard the blade smash down. But when they looked, they saw that it was buried in the floor several inches away from the Coconutcracker, who didn't move. "I could never go against you," said Gantu, "My loyalty's always to the true crown. Besides, you treated me much better than that overgrown mouse. He's always throwing insults at me and calling me incompotent."

"I never doubted you for a second," said the Coconutcracker, "As soon as I'm in control again, I'll give you the job of routing out all the gerbils who have invaded this kingdom."

"I will not fail you, Your Majesty," said Gantu as he saluted, "May I take you to the throne room now?"

"With gusto."

General Gantu lead the group to the throne room. The doors flew off with one kick from his tall thick legs. The Gerbil King was currently sitting on the throne, with an icebag over the lump on his head. "What is the meaning of all this banging and crashing?" demanded the mouse-like monarch.

"We're here to overthrow you," said the Coconutcracker.

"You! I knew I should have chopped you up into kindling myself! And so I will, while the guards will take care of your friends." The Gerbil King snapped his fingers and several gerbil soldiers sprang out. With a loud battle cry, our heroes, lead by the Coconutcracker, Sir Draco, and General Gantu, charged forward.

The battle was fierce, but bloodless. Gantu kept the gerbils at bay with his halberd while Draco scorched them with his breath. The other servants weren't trained in military combat, but they fought quite well. Chip punched with his extendible arms and his metal legs gave solid kicks. Contrinus, with her medical expertise, knew the right way to hit an opponent's nerves to make them freeze. Reuben hit them over the head with his frying pan and rolling pin, while Morph headbutted them.

Angelilo had more difficulty and was thus being protected by the others. Meanwhile, the Coconutcracker and the Gerbil King were swordfighting in the middle of the throne room. "Give it up, you misshapen mannequin," said the Gerbil King, "My magic is far too powerful for a weakling like you to fight off."

"Maybe so, but that's why I've got this," said the Coconutcracker as he pulled the Krakatooth Nut out of his pocket.

The Gerbil King gasped and said, "Not a Krakatooth Nut! That thing could spoil all magic!"

"And so it will," said the Coconutcracker as he placed it between his teeth and bit down. While his teeth didn't snap like Draco's, they still couldn't bite through.

The Gerbil King laughed and said, "It looks like you're a little lockjawed. This'll make things oh so much easier." The Gerbil King started attacking the Coconutcracker visciously now.

Angelilo saw the trouble the Coconutcracker was in and knew she had to help. She grabbed Morph and said, "Sorry about this." She shut him into the box, turned it upside-down on the floor, sat on it, and started cranking the handle. As soon as the tune was played, Morph sprang out. The force of this propelled them both forward across the room. Angelilo landed beside the Coconutcracker while Morph landed on top of the Gerbil King's tail.

The Gerbil King cried out in pain and kicked Morph off. However, Morph had landed precisely on the bent in the Gerbil King's tail and had flattened it back into shape. "My tail, it is no longer crooked," said the Gerbil King, "Thanks for that, but you are a dummy, and you shall remain a dummy."

Meanwhile, Angelilo had flung her arms around the Coconutcracker's head. "Don't give up!" she said, "You can do it! Wood or not, you're still a prince! I don't care what the Gerbil King turned you into or what you looked like before, you still have a kind heart. Myrtle was an idiot to not see that, but I see it as bright as daylight. I would have never turned you away because of your appearance." With Angelilo's arms helping him squeeze, the Krakatooth Nut in the Coconutcracker's jaws started to bend. Just as the Gerbil King turned around to finish the Coconutcracker, he saw cracks develop in the nut's shell. Before he could do anything, the jaws broke through and a wave of magic came out of the shattered nutshell.

The wave of magic spread througout the castle. It caused all the doors in the dungeons where the unfortunate courtiers had been imprisioned to be unlocked and all damage the gerbils had done to the castle to be mended. The magic swirled around Morph and carried him up in the air. With a loud pop, he transformed back into his normal blob shape with his jester's cap and collar. The Gerbil King had cried out in fear but didn't have time for anything else before the magic hit him. The look of anguish froze on his face and his mouth was forcibly drawn up into a smile and stitched shut. His magic scepter fell from his hand as it lost its finger and shattered on the ground. The Gerbil King felt backwards with a squeak, but not the kind a gerbil make. The squeak had come from the squeakbox inside his chest, now stuffed with cotton. For his wicked magic had been backfired on him and turned him into a lifeless plush toy. As soon as the gerbils saw what had become of their monarch, they all ran away.

Then the magic focused on the Coconutcracker. He grew larger in Angelilo's arms and much taller. His soldier's uniform modified with a royal cape and fancier buttons. The hard wood of his body softened into fur. A patch of blonde spikey hair grew from the top of his head and was then flattened slightly when a crown appeared. When the light faded, Angelilo found herself in the arms of a handsome young man about her age.

"All hail Prince Kenny!" cried the servants, "All hail Princess Angelilo!"

"Horray!" cried Morph, "I can bounce all around again! I can juggle and dance all day!"

"I'll kind of miss him as a jack-in-the-box," said Chip, "At least then we could shut him up."

"P-princess? Me?" said Angelilo.

"Yes, you" said Prince Kenny, his voice much deeper and more mature, "Your love for me was what cracked the Krakatooth. For nothing in the world is harder to break than love. I want you to stay with me and be Princess of the Land of Sweets."

Angelilo considered it. This was every girl's fantasy. To be married to a prince and live in a castle. That sounded like the best thing that could ever happen to her. But she knew what she had to say. "I would love to live with you, but I can't right now. I want to grow up, live my life, fufill my dream. And the only way that could happen if I went back to my home to do it."

Prince Kenny looked sad, but he nodded, "You're right, you have your full life ahead of you. But when you want to return, I shall come for you." Then the last bit of magic from the Krakatooth Nut spun around Angelilo and she vanished in a bright flash of light.

--------------

Angelilo woke up to see that she was back on the couch in her living room. "Was it all a dream?" she wondered. Then she looked at what she held in her arms and gasped. Instead of the Coconutcracker, she was holding a plush gerbil wearing a crown and a cape. She dropped it on the floor, which caused its squeakbox to squeak. Angelilo stood up and walked into the dining room. She saw Uncle Jumbameyer, working over a small pocketwatch in his hands. "Uncle Jumbameyer!" cried Angelilo.

"Ah, Angelilo, you have rised and shined," said Jumbameyer.

"Uncle Jumbameyer, I have to know. What the story of the Coconutcracker true? Did I really dream all of that? Is there any truth to it at all?"

Jumbameyer didn't respond but Angelilo heard someone walk into the room. She turned and gasped. It was a boy her age with spikey blonde hair, carrying a tray of gingerbread cookies over to the table. "Angelilo," said Jumbameyer, "I would like you to meet my nephew, Kenneth."

"Uncle, call me Kenny," said the boy. Jumbameyer smiled and left the room. Kenny then turned to Angelilo and bowed, "Hello, Angelilo."

Angelilo smiled and said, "Hello, Coconutcracker."

* * *

And that's the final chapter. I hope you have all enjoyed this as much as I have. I think this might be my best Christmas parody yet. Be sure to check next year for my next Christmas parody. Until, a Merry Christmas to you all!


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